Silent sadness..

I wish I didn't hafta go to school. Haiz. Whenever I go to sch and see her, I feel GUILT. I feel AGONY. PAIN. Guilt out of not being able to forget her, like I said I had. Agony, out of loving her and not being able let it all out. Pain.. because she's going soon. The time I have to see her slips away, ever so slowly.. I feel depressed. Torn in two. I want to see her before she leaves, but at the same time, I wish I didn't have to. I wish I never fell in love with her.
-Sigh-
When she goes, loneliness will follow soon. All too soon. Time passes with great haste. If only I could run away, drown my sorrow in the deep places of the world, or perhaps shatter it on the peaks of the world. If there was anything I learned during this year, it would have been this: Friendships, made in the youth of life, never last. No matter what you pledge, what you vow, no matter how strong the bonds are, time blows it all away. Yes Rene, that extends to YOU.
-Laughs bitterly-
I suppose, there is nothing I can do. It is what one would call.. inevitable. Maybe, one day, this sorrow, will come to pass. But not now. Not today. For now, the pain will remain emtombed within. Perhaps a day will come when I find someone who can shake me out of this melancholy.. but until that time comes..

"Deep within me,
Life’s crawling and wasting my days,
Another night gone and I know there will be another way,
I’m leading myself to be free,
In this eternal goodbye.. "